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Women's Red Tape
If you haven't noticed there is no substantial dating scene on this
campus. I would hardly consider anything freshman year as substantial. And
to what can we attest this hypocrisy of a collegiate experience? Through
extensive inductive reasoning, I have concluded that once again women are
the sole bearers and culprits of the sad state of affairs at this
university.
Most of the people we meet and associate with are a result of freshman
year. This is also the year that the girls of this campus are most prone
to being open-minded and not too pretentious (one will soon realize that
there is a direct negative correlation between open-mindedness and
pretentiousness: as one decreases the other increases). Sophomore year is
spent in reputation-hibernation, junior year is spent abroad, and by the
time senior year comes, women pontificate the ubiquitous cliché that they
are too mature to date a guy still in college or they are over it, or they
can't meet anyone new.
However, let us take a more in depth look at the woman's final excuse for
not being able to find a suitable partner. The reason she is not able to
meet anyone new is proportional to her willingness to extend herself
outside her comfort zone (which is rarely done due to the mind-washing
conformity and the terrible Sorostitution of our paltry bar scene). If a
guy doesn't know a girl and the possibility of being introduced is
non-existent, then men face a cumbersome dilemma. We could do the
legitimate thing, which is to introduce ourselves, but that more often
than not is met with the "up-and-down" eye check and the gaze of
who are you and why do you think you have the right to talk to me.
The reason for this is because unless you are known through association,
autonomous and individualistic acts are seen as the "killer
trilogy:" Shady, Sketchy, or Random as defined by the limited
vocabulary of our bar crawling women. Unfortunately (for the sake of
consistency) these terms are loosely thrown about - through Zinfandel
slurs - and the relevance of such terminology is lost. Differentiation
becomes a die-role - a game of which lucky mongrel will be there to gather
the stumbling pieces (either that or who has the most coke). Moreover, if
most girls refer to most boys as "shady," then "shady"
becomes a state of normalcy thus losing its relevance as a proper way to
distinguish one person from another, does it not? This is just something
for you women to ponder as well as the feeling of waking up alone in the
morning.
Have you women actually given thought to why men date younger girls? They
may be bright-eyed and naïve at times, but the bottom line is they give
those Randoms a chance. While the Vixens are out sucking down ice-tea's
from Long Island, debating over whose Louis Vuitton bag is tackier, the
handful of first-years are actually trying to meet someone new and
exciting. As I mentioned previously, women become more reclusive and
introverted with their circle of friends as time progresses. So why would
a guy spend his time and risk personal humiliation to gain the interest of
some washed-up senior only to be shot down because he didn't have the good
fortune of living in her residence dorm freshman year, or being a part of
a Greek system that is faltering to the point of its pathetic existence
when he could date a younger girl that doesn't have half as many issues or
red tape as an older one?
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